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Introduction

Essay-writing is a fact of university life. Humanities and Social Sciences students do a lot of it, but even students in STEM fields have to do it every now and then. The trouble is that not everyone likes to write essays, and not everyone is particularly good at it.

This makes grading hell for your professors and TAs. We’re the real victims here. You may only write one crappy essay, but we have to grade dozens of them. Poor us.

This website is for students who don’t like writing or who just plain suck at writing, but who want to be able to make themselves clear and get decent grades. It’s not a website for perfectionists or students whose writing skills are already good — it’s a website for students who are tired of hearing that poor composition is distracting readers from your good (or mediocre, or passable, or terrible-but-who-can-tell-because-your-writing-is-so-awful) ideas.

How to use this site

You can read the guide all at once, or you can use the navigation links at top right to take it one step at a time.

If your essay is already drafted, but it’s a farming mess, click “Help! My essay sucks!” above.

The naughtier the pseudo-swears in my instructions, the more annoying it is when you suck at that skill. So when I say “write a motherfarming outline,” I mean write that motherfarmer because your essay will be a total clusterfarm if you don’t.

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